M5 vs the Tennessee Snow:
An underwhelming feat of how I summited the 1 inch of snow packed ice to transition out of the garage and onto the cleared driveway.
I walked out into the garage on a chilly morning in late January. All the time knowing that this garage was on the side of the house that does not see the sun lick upon the retractable doors in winter. Carefully, I planned my exit ensuring that my seatbelt was locked and that no airbag malfunction light was illuminated. Placing the key fob in the central holder, I glided my finger along the smooth button feeling the tactile ridges that spelled out "Engine Start". Moments later, with a motion I have performed so many times in the past, I depressed the button and a symphony of controlled explosions came from under the hook.
The beast was awake!
With a rush of adrenaline and childlike anticipation, I shifted the M5's DCT into drive. A tap of the gas and slight woosh of the turbo precluded the momentum rush as the car lumbered forward at a snails pace. The soft crunch of tires in snow invaded the cabin like a thief in the night rummaging through the silverware drawer. The Sottozeros were relentless at gripping the frozen tundra for traction as made my way out of the garage. Moments later, now fully on the ice bank and clear of the doors, I deftly turned the wheel to the left taking the M5 to the high friction goodness that awaited just beyond the snow and ice pack.
The front tires slid down onto the cold exposed concrete and then I knew I had made it. Minutes of anticipation, seconds of planning, and a shimmer of inspiration from reading the perils of other M5 owners earlier that very morning all came together in a glorious elation. I believed that only my sheer will and determination coupled with the M5's engineering and the Pirelli Sottozero's cold weather stickiness could have been achieved such an exciting outcome. Looking back, I could see that lesser cars and tires, like my wife's convertible F-type shod in P-Zeros, simply had to remain behind to look on from the warm garage, dreaming of the day when they too could emerge into the sunlight.
All was once again right with the world, but sadly only the temporary tracks in the white void would remain to tell of the events of that morning.
