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1. Get iOS 6
2. On the phone, go to Settings > Bluetooth > the blue arrow for your car's profile. Turn on "Show Notifications".
3. Under Settings > Notifications, make sure texts and emails are set to have some type of alert or banner, and are enabled for the lock screen if you want both. Note that email delivery to iDrive is spotty right now, though I kept emails off since I don't want to ruin my car by turning it into yet another place I'm plagued with email anyway.
4. Go to www.bmw.com/update and download any iDrive Bluetooth update that may be available there to install in your car.
Only NEW texts and/or emails that you receive while the phone's display is off will show up on iDrive, under ConnectedDrive > Messages. And they'll be auto-deleted from iDrive (but not the phone) when you turn the car off. There's no manual way to delete them from the display or the phone using the car.
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