Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[King Rudi]

Wow...much to process and based off what I have seen, one of my favorite lines from Napoleon Dynamite was from Rex at Rex Kwon Do; "Break the wrist and walk away."

Sara, this might be hard to read and I genuinely mean no harm in saying this, but from what I can tell, he is basically doing the same thing that you are. The only difference is that you caught feelings. The entire scenario is a little off-putting that friends are interested in dating the same woman and everyone is cool with it. I won't lie, I have found myself in this situation before. Three women, they all knew one another and 2 of them were close. I had already slept with one, had a date with another and had planned on a date with the third. After realizing what the score was, I removed myself from the situation as not to cause issues for their friendship(s). Funny how life works, all three hate each other now. (Had nothing to do with me)

You have two options with this state of affairs.

Option 1. Walk away - this will be your best option in my opinion. I see this entire thing as toxic. Trust isn't there. The foundation for any relationship is trust and if it isn't here now, it sure as shit won't be later. Trust is earned. It seems like no one in this, is looking for the other to trust them more than the threshold of what is required for sex. This is the extent of how far any of this is ever going to go. Sorry.

Option number B. Take a few days, don't talk to any of these guys, don't get involved in other plans and do some soul searching. What is your desired end result? If it's finding a partner in life, work toward that. If you don't have a want for a partner and just want to date, you need to learn to curb your emotions; as this will only lead to heartbreak after heartbreak. As I type this, I find it comical that we as humans are able to fall in love with random people, yet say that we have soulmates. Just funny to me. Back on track, you need to find out for yourself, what you want, then plan accordingly and work toward achieving just that.

In business and project management, I tend to reverse engineer what I expect in the means of my comfort level in what I call success of an end product. If I go at something aimlessly, I can expect no end, as I do not have a defined "finish line."

I hate to say it, but I see a toxic cycle here that will continue for as long as you allow it to. The men will continue to play the game in order to get some booty, you can continue to play the game as well, if you wish; just know that other than the instant gratification of sex, there is not further positive outcome on your end.

I hope this helps.

[Tommy-G]

God, meeting new people and the first engagement of sexual things sounds so appealing for 2 minutes....

Then I am so thankful someone was silly enough to put up with me for the rest of my life and take me off the market.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

So what do I do about his clothes he left here? Lol. New toilet bowl scrubber? Maybe he’ll send an Uber or a cop.

I’m cutting A loose. My BP yesterday was 157/94. Lol he’s gonna kill me. Expectations only get you hurt! Ate my own fucking words.

I feel a lot better this morning. Haven’t responded to anything he said last night. I don’t know what the hell I want, I just know I don’t ever want to get into it like we did Wednesday night. I was a total bitch.

I would offer to return his clothes on limited contact. Chuckling at the rest of the comment.

He's going to kill you for cutting him lose? Wrong mindset to have here. Your only thought here needs to be bettering yourself. Don't care about what other people think of you. It's none of your business and what you think of them doesn't matter to them either. (Hard words to preach, I'm guilty as well)

As for being a total bitch, we tend get upset when we are emotionally charged. Take note here. If someone doesn't get as upset about a situation as much as you do, it simply means they are not as emotionally charged about the situation. Seems basic, but think about it. The lack of emotion elicits a lack of concern. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the more you are a bitch, the more you are indicating that you care; if you didn't....you wouldn't be upset. Guys....(smart guys) notice these things. Hold your cards close until....

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I would offer to return his clothes on limited contact. Chuckling at the rest of the comment.

He's going to kill you for cutting him lose? Wrong mindset to have here. Your only thought here needs to be bettering yourself. Don't care about what other people think of you. It's none of your business and what you think of them doesn't matter to them either. (Hard words to preach, I'm guilty as well)

As for being a total bitch, we tend get upset when we are emotionally charged. Take note here. If someone doesn't get as upset about a situation as much as you do, it simply means they are not as emotionally charged about the situation. Seems basic, but think about it. The lack of emotion elicits a lack of concern. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the more you are a bitch, the more you are indicating that you care; if you didn't....you wouldn't be upset. Guys....(smart guys) notice these things. Hold your cards close until....

Agreed!

King Rudi has dropped some important suggestions. The real question remains: will you listen or will you ignore it because you are enticed by certain things (…I have a wager going already )?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

No, no sweetheart. I didn't mean that A is going actually kill me, I meant that he is going to be a contributing factor. Remember, cardiologist follow up appointment? They found an enlargement and I've got to keep my stress levels down. Well, those doctor's orders certainly went out the window Wednesday night. A stresses me out the most.

I'm going to partially blame the 3 margaritas and shots of Titos which seemed to have fueled the fire Wednesday night.

You're absolutely right about not showing concern. Probably best that I havent responded to anything he said last night. It shows him that I don't care. I just don't want him to lie to me. I told him about B and that I'm letting B take me out next week and he has no right to get upset!! The pot calling the kettle black here.


Never a dull moment in my life. I just hope it doesn't contribute to an early grave!!

My bad. Got you now.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

No, no sweetheart. I didn't mean that A is going actually kill me, I meant that he is going to be a contributing factor. Remember, cardiologist follow up appointment? They found an enlargement and I've got to keep my stress levels down. Well, those doctor's orders certainly went out the window Wednesday night. A stresses me out the most.

I'm going to partially blame the 3 margaritas and shots of Titos which seemed to have fueled the fire Wednesday night.

You're absolutely right about not showing concern. Probably best that I havent responded to anything he said last night. It shows to him, I don't care. I just don't want him to lie to me. I told him about B and that I'm letting B take me out next week and he has no right to get upset!! The pot calling the kettle black here.


Never a dull moment in my life. I just hope it doesn't contribute to an early grave!!

On addition….


….You have to consider how you look to the three (…or four?!?!) of them. I can tell you right now that if me and a few of my buddies were dating/sleeping with the same girl (…and at one point in life - when I was a part-time personal trainer at 24HR Fitness - that exact situation occurred with multiple women that I hand picked simply because I knew we could manipulate and have fun……and it was easy to corral women like cattle in that environment), we'd be having a few back door laugh sessions about her.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Just for the record, I'm not sleeping with anyone except A.

Got it! ….but even still, the back door conversations are happening since A has sampled the goods and had surely spread the word. B, C and D want to work their way in too (…with the blessing of A). It just doesn't make you look good at all.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

I listened to everyone and cut the rude guy loose who treated the wait staff poorly. There's hope for me.

It's rare that women get "the secrets" from men, so I hope you continue to listen to what the guys tell you here.

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by Sara

Just for the record, I'm not sleeping with anyone except A.

Yet

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Gotcha. It also doesn't help that A tells me stuff about B and C. Whether he's being truthful or not, I'm not sure at this point. He could just be saying that to me so I stay away from them and he has me all to himself or, he could be telling the truth. Ugh.

Fuck it. It's a long weekend and I'm spending it disconnected from everyone and with my ponies. They are my only stress reliever at the moment.

It's both. He let the kitty cat out of the hat and now the boys want to play. Once you put the image in their heads, the prey drive kicks in and there's no stopping it. It's for that reason that me and the fellas don't share those details - nor the scantily clad photos - about the girl(s) we actually like (…which says something about how A saw/sees you).

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

Yet

PFFT!! I just spit coffee.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

Yet

We'll see! And it wouldn't matter if I was.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

It's for that reason that me and the fellas don't share those details - nor the scantily clad photos - about the girl(s) we actually like (…which says something about how A saw/sees you).

I feel like this thread has turned into the Bible for Women of how men operate.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

We'll see! And it wouldn't matter if I was.

Dignity Sara. Dignity! There's plenty of dick out there and no need to become "that girl." Don't hump friends!!!! You'll never be respected……ever.

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I feel like this thread has turned into the Bible for Women of how men operate.

Yeah! If we keep talking/typing they'll have a handy reference guide.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Dignity Sara. Dignity! There's plenty of dick out there and no need to become "that girl." Don't hump friends!!!! You'll never be respected……ever.



Yeah! If we keep talking/typing they'll have a handy reference guide.

Ha! I go back again today to the cardiologist. My results today are going to determine my dignity at this point. I may just have a YOLO mindset after this afternoon. I just don't care anymore. We'll see.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Ha! I go back again today to the cardiologist. My results today are going to determine my dignity at this point. I may just have a YOLO mindset after this afternoon. I just don't care anymore. We'll see.

Sweet! I need my $50 and pizza today.

#SedanClanWinsTheBet

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Sweet! I need my $50 and pizza today.

#SedanClanWinsTheBet

haha, what was the bet? I haven't done anything!

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

haha, what was the bet? I haven't done anything!

Essentially what you typed……


….that despite the prose, you'll decide to do it anyway and disregard the warnings/suggestions due to a myriad of reasons.

I need my pizza. Have at it Sara! Provide us all of the juicy details too.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Essentially what you typed……


….that despite the prose, you'll decide to do it anyway and disregard the warnings/suggestions due to a myriad of reasons.

I need my pizza. Have at it Sara! Provide us all of the juicy details too.

No, no. I haven't made any decision. Have you not realized how undecisive I am? I may take this long weekend with my ponies and reassess and come back with a completely different mindset on Tuesday. My horses seem to knock sense into me when I'm with them.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

No, no. I haven't made any decision. Have you not realized how undecisive I am? I may take this long weekend with my ponies and reassess and come back with a completely different mindset on Tuesday. My horses seem to knock sense into me when I'm with them.

I see that. I'm all for matters of the heart (…or penis….or vagina), but this is one impulse that I urge you not to indulge.

If time with your horses has such a seemingly profound and powerful effect on your decision making abilities, I'm prescribing MORE time with them before any dalliance you're considering.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

I see that. I'm all for matters of the heart (…or penis….or vagina), but this is one impulse that I urge you not to indulge.

If time with your horses has such a seemingly profound and powerful effect on your decision making abilities, I'm prescribing MORE time with them before any dalliance you're considering.

If you want a stable relationship, get a horse

No, but really they have such a calming effect on me. I love them. Except when Blackie throws me and gives me concussions lol.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Sara;

If you want a stable relationship, get a horse

No, but really they have such a calming effect on me. I love them. Except when Blackie throws me and gives me concussions lol.

I want a video of you asking Blackie for relationship advice while riding through the woods...that would be a Youtube hit