Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

Joekerr · 02-24-2021, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

Initially I had texted at noon that I was exhausted and too much going on to make it for the 7pm reservations. At 5:30 he replies back with "NOO! Just now seeing this!" and then immediately proceeds to call my cell. I didn't have my phone in front of me and did not answer the call. He then calls twice more and left a voicemail instructing me to call him back. As I was listening to the voicemail, another text from him comes through asking me to reconsider and "is there someone else you're meeting instead of me?" which kind of ticked me off to be honest, so I replied with "No, I'm just tired" and then a back and forth from him saying HE MADE A RESERVATION! Mind you, it's not like this restaurant has a no show fee, or puts a hold on his card to make the reservation. So I said that I was tired and didn't want to be harassed about it. He apologized and that was it. Until I get the texts that I'm rude for not rescheduling.

That's just too much drama for me when I haven't even met the guy. He already seems too controlling.

Honestly, I'd agree, he does seem controlling. And if so, that's lucky you found out now.

Or he's just had a bunch of women ghost on him last minute and he's frustrated. But given all the followups, I'd guess he might be controlling. Not worth it. On to the next!

bimmette · 02-24-2021, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Quote:

Originally Posted by bimmette

Haha, I'm Bimmette from Canada. Jk. I lurk! My dating life is non-existent.

Tara, it just occurred to me, I changed the username a while back. It's Jody, Not Judy, Now Rudi. Soul Glo dubbed me king before he exited stage left.

It's been a while since I checked out your channel. Still have the M3? How's it looking these days? I'm sure you have not left it stock.

M3 is running fine but haven't done much to it lately.

Chihuahua · 02-24-2021, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

Do you guys go off on a girl if she cancels the first date? I canceled with 7 hours advance notice

Nope, I wouldn't go off at all but I certainly wouldn't pursue you anymore. "I'm tired" is about as lame of an excuse as there is, especially with no offer to reschedule or do something different. If you're truly interested and excited about something, being tired isn't going to stop you. Apologies if this comes across as sounding harsh, just being honest from my perspective.

CTinline-six · 02-24-2021, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Nope, but she isn't very likely to get another offer unless the reason behind it is validated. If I offer someone a job and they can't show up the first day, I find someone who wants the job and can arrive when agreed upon. At the same time, if I were to fire an employee; I wouldn't go off on them, simply terminate then back fill the position and move on.

That screen shot leaves no form of context. Red flags everywhere with what little I see though. Etiquette school? Interesting.....

To be fair, did you bother to try and reschedule after canceling? If no, then there is no further discussion to be had, this one is gone unless he doesn't keep his commitment to himself; which if this is the case, I'd not be interested in principle alone. Without seeing the entire conversation, it makes it difficult to provide whatever answer/reassurance you're looking for. For clarification, I'm not asking to see the rest of the conversation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JP10

Need more of the convo to make a solid decision, nonetheless I'm more of a "their loss" kind of guy rather then "I'm going berate them via text to express my feelings" kind of guy. You really get matched up with some real winners lmao

Initially I had texted at noon that I was exhausted and too much going on to make it for the 7pm reservations. At 5:30 he replies back with "NOO! Just now seeing this!" and then immediately proceeds to call my cell. I didn't have my phone in front of me and did not answer the call. He then calls twice more and left a voicemail instructing me to call him back. As I was listening to the voicemail, another text from him comes through asking me to reconsider and "is there someone else you're meeting instead of me?" which kind of ticked me off to be honest, so I replied with "No, I'm just tired" and then a back and forth from him saying HE MADE A RESERVATION! Mind you, it's not like this restaurant has a no show fee, or puts a hold on his card to make the reservation. So I said that I was tired and didn't want to be harassed about it. He apologized and that was it. Until I get the texts that I'm rude for not rescheduling.

That's just too much drama for me when I haven't even met the guy. He already seems too controlling.

That is too much drama holy shit.

If I don't answer a call and instead of texting/leaving a voicemail that person continues to keep calling, I can immediately assume that either:

A. they are actually on fire

or

B. they are controlling and crazy

So far it's only been "B".

fiveohwblow · 02-24-2021, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

That is too much drama holy shit.

If I don't answer a call and instead of texting/leaving a voicemail that person continues to keep calling, I can immediately assume that either:

A. they are actually on fire

or

B. they are controlling and crazy

So far it's only been "B".

I hope if they are actively on fire, and placing a phone call, everyone in visual sight would do the sensible thing and record it on their cell phones.

FizzyElf · 02-24-2021, 07:10 PM

I've never been on a "date". Not sure I ever want to after reading this nonsense. Sounds like dating is a meat grinder for your soul.

ASAP · 02-24-2021, 07:30 PM

So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?

TrevorM3 · 02-24-2021, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?

some women jus want the company, they are bored. who tf knows

ASAP · 02-24-2021, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

some women jus want the company, they are bored. who tf knows

yeah i don't get it at all.... it's not like there wasn't any affection shown...

Turkish Pickle · 02-24-2021, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?

Yes, yes, and yes.

1- dating for most women is to have fun while actively comparing you to other dudes. By the 5th date most men would basically be getting ready to lock her in. I know I would, at least. If I've gone on 5 dates with someone I'd start phasing others out. From chick friends though I've heard there's a long "decision process", if any, until they start phasing other guys out.

2- Completely confused sounds about right. The "in" thing right now is to have commitment issues. My gf's 19 year old cousin thinks she has "commitment issues" because she can't even finish a movie without getting distracted. ADHD is being perceived as commitment issues, basically.

3- This is a bit of a hot-ish take, and kinda a reply to the other guys above as well; why do you guys pay for everything? Obviously there's an age difference between me and most here, but I learned quickly to NEVER EVER pay for both on the first date.

Also, lastly - did you guys just go on 5 dates with no "action" at the end? I know I've lost a few girls because I didn't invite them back or barely gave a kiss. She may have taken that as a sign that you're not interested - ask me how I know

ASAP · 02-24-2021, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Yes, yes, and yes.

1- dating for most women is to have fun while actively comparing you to other dudes. By the 5th date most men would basically be getting ready to lock her in. I know I would, at least. If I've gone on 5 dates with someone I'd start phasing others out. From chick friends though I've heard there's a long "decision process", if any, until they start phasing other guys out.

2- Completely confused sounds about right. The "in" thing right now is to have commitment issues. My gf's 19 year old cousin thinks she has "commitment issues" because she can't even finish a movie without getting distracted. ADHD is being perceived as commitment issues, basically.

3- This is a bit of a hot-ish take, and kinda a reply to the other guys above as well; why do you guys pay for everything? Obviously there's an age difference between me and most here, but I learned quickly to NEVER EVER pay for both on the first date.

Also, lastly - did you guys just go on 5 dates with no "action" at the end? I know I've lost a few girls because I didn't invite them back or barely gave a kiss. She may have taken that as a sign that you're not interested - ask me how I know

all good thoughts man... as far as paying... imho it def should happen on the 1st date but does not need to after the 1st.

MKSixer · 02-24-2021, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bimmette

Aw thanks

My pet peeves are guys wearing hats or sunglasses in every pic!

I'm doing well, thanks! Got a new job and just bought a fabulous new place! Moving in a couple weeks so busy with that!

Haha, I'm Bimmette from Canada. Jk. I lurk! My dating life is non-existent.

Clear your In-Box!!

Turkish Pickle · 02-24-2021, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

all good thoughts man... as far as paying... imho it def should happen on the 1st date but does not need to after the 1st.

Valid point, I'll say this - I pay on the first date if I think it's worth it. If it's someone I'm not thinking of a serious relationship I won't pay for anything on the first date.

FizzyElf · 02-24-2021, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?

Two words: free s**t.

fiveohwblow · 02-24-2021, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?

To me she was playing the field, a better (to her) player came along. You went from 1 to 2 real quick. Move along, consider it food for thought next time you’re “hanging out.”

ASAP · 02-24-2021, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?

To me she was playing the field, a better (to her) player came along. You went from 1 to 2 real quick. Move along, consider it food for thought next time you’re “hanging out.”

Cold hard truth and honestly that's why all of these apps are useless... all the women think of is who is the next guy and how much better he could be...

Before you know it, they are 40 single, wondering what happened...

rebekahb · 02-24-2021, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAP

Cold hard truth and honestly that's why all of these apps are useless... all the women think of is who is the next guy and how much better he could be...

Before you know it, they are 40 single, wondering what happened...

It's kind of like a lot of things in today's times. We have so much at our fingertips and everything's right in front of you. The options are free flowing. If I just do one more maybe he/she will be the one (not saying anyone should settle). The problem is that mindset never leads to fulfillment. You'll always be searching.

It reminds me of shopping. I go online and scroll and scroll. I find something I like and then my mind says shit, what if I like something better 2 pages over and I don't go see. Next thing you know I've gone 10 pages because I thought I would miss something but I end up back at the item I liked early on.

aliiin · 02-24-2021, 10:59 PM

Just ended a 4 month relationship.

Cliffs:
She had a pyscho mom and was not very independent. I would rant if anyone is interested.

Story 1: She is a pharmacist and her mom lives with her. She lies to her mom about working 5 days a week when she works 4 to "get away from her mom." It's called her ME day and she dresses up like she's going to work and leaves the house so her mom doesn't know and thinks she's going to work but she does other shit on this fake day off. The kicker: she's 38. This was mind blowing to me. Like... what in the actual fuck?

Dang3r · 02-25-2021, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

Do you guys go off on a girl if she cancels the first date? I canceled with 7 hours advance notice

No, but it depends on the reason why. There are reasons and reasons...

M5Rick · 02-25-2021, 04:11 AM

[QUOTE=ASAP;27271999]So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

*Thought I'd come in on your one,it looks like you dated a score keeper that reports to her friends on how many they go out with then...you know, it's silence and they enjoy the thrill of you contacting them constantly getting nowhere.
A strange phenomena employed by some girls/women that can't be explained rationally.

FizzyElf · 02-25-2021, 06:06 AM

[QUOTE=Lady Jane;27272982]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M5theonlyone

Stop paying for everything. You were probably a victim of a free loader. As soon as they hear the word 'commitment', they disappear.

Nothing wrong with just dating. Not every woman wants to get married, have babies, do your laundry and cooking and be a mink in the bedroom, even if they are not in the mood.

If you have followed this thread from the beginning you will have read my views on the subject.

Cheers,Attachment 2536896

What’s the point of putting up with someone else’s crap if you’re not going to have a family or get your clothes washed?

little value proposition here.

Dang3r · 02-25-2021, 06:22 AM

[QUOTE=Lady Jane;27272982]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M5theonlyone

Nothing wrong with just dating. Not every woman wants to get married, have babies, do your laundry and cooking and be a mink in the bedroom, even if they are not in the mood.Attachment 2536896

Show me where and who and I would come with supersonic to see that

02-24-2021, 07:10 PM	#7662
FizzyElf Enlisted Member 133 Rep 31 Posts Drives: X30e on order Join Date: Feb 2021 Location: Earth iTrader: (0)	I've never been on a "date". Not sure I ever want to after reading this nonsense. Sounds like dating is a meat grinder for your soul.
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02-24-2021, 07:30 PM	#7663
ASAP Major General 10574 Rep 8,879 Posts Drives: '23 X3 M40i Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in- Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it. I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again. Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit... LOL WTF... You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this? Alright... some give me thoughts here- Was she looking to just have a good time? Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought) Completely confused?
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-24-2021, 10:59 PM	#7674
aliiin I use my turn signal 711 Rep 280 Posts Drives: Toyota Tercel Join Date: Dec 2018 Location: DFW iTrader: (0)	Just ended a 4 month relationship. Cliffs: She had a pyscho mom and was not very independent. I would rant if anyone is interested. Story 1: She is a pharmacist and her mom lives with her. She lies to her mom about working 5 days a week when she works 4 to "get away from her mom." It's called her ME day and she dresses up like she's going to work and leaves the house so her mom doesn't know and thinks she's going to work but she does other shit on this fake day off. The kicker: she's 38. This was mind blowing to me. Like... what in the actual fuck?
	Appreciate 5 IllSic_Design2125.00 vreihen1619086.50 nyalpine907415.00 Sara5856.00 Fast.F10516.50 Quote

02-25-2021, 04:11 AM	#7676
M5Rick General 66289 Rep 21,444 Posts Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: GB iTrader: (0)	[QUOTE=ASAP;27271999]So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in- Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it. I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again. Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit... LOL WTF... *Thought I'd come in on your one,it looks like you dated a score keeper that reports to her friends on how many they go out with then...you know, it's silence and they enjoy the thrill of you contacting them constantly getting nowhere. A strange phenomena employed by some girls/women that can't be explained rationally.
	Appreciate 2 ASAP10573.50 nyalpine907415.00 Quote